Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Good things come to those who wait"

*Disclaimer: This is a more sentimental and pretty personal blog post compared to what I usually write, it's also kind of long. So if you're not into lengthy mushy blogs, then now would be a good time to stop reading... ;)

Most of you know by now that I am pregnant, but a lot of you don't really know about how it all came to be. (No, this is not a talk about the "birds and the bees", your parents will tell you about that when you're older ;).

This is my personal story about my struggle to become pregnant and how Rob and I finally found out we were going to be bringing a child into this world.

A lot of you that know me well, know that when I got married, having children was the farthest thing from my mind. The thought of having kids at that time in my life was almost a little depressing. For me, it felt like I would be closing a door to my past that I was not yet ready to close and starting a chapter in my life that, at the time, felt like the beginning of the end. Now I know a lot of you are probably thinking that that's a terrible way to think about kids, but let me explain. I got married at 23, an age I never thought I'd be married at. I always saw myself getting married a little older, like 25 at the earliest, but when Rob asked me, I knew it was right and he was the right guy for me so I didn't see a point in waiting. However, because I was getting married younger than I thought I would, I was nowhere near ready to have kids. I wanted to enjoy being young, enjoy married life and for some reason the thought of having kids at that time seemed like a giant weight that would be holding me down and that the sooner I had kids the sooner I would be getting older. It may not make sense to you but it made sense to me and it's really the only way I know how to explain it.

Then, after being happily married for 2 years, and having been all over the country and even to different parts of the world together, something changed. Rob and I had accomplished so much in our first two years, we'd bought and sold our first home, honeymooned in Puerto Rico, celebrated Valentine's Day in Mexico, our Anniversaries in Vegas, Italy and Switzerland, spent birthdays in California and done all kinds of wonderful things together as a couple. Then one day, almost over night, I felt the overwhelming desire to start a family. I started to feel like there should be something more. That Rob and I needed to start sharing our lives with not just each other, but with a family of our own. I wanted children I could teach, and share experiences with.

So, in June of 2009, we decided to start trying to have kids.

For some reason, growing up, I always felt like it would be difficult for me to get pregnant. I don't know why, I never had any complications or diagnosis early in my life that would suggest that, I just always had this feeling that it wouldn't be easy for me. So after months of trying and being unsuccessful, reality started to set in and suddenly my hunch was no longer "just a feeling".

After a year of trying to conceive, I started a long process of tests, and medicines based on nothing more than theories. With everything coming back normal, none of my doctors really knew what was keeping me from getting pregnant. I was constantly being poked and prodded, had some pretty invasive procedures done and was always having to check the calendar, keep track of the time of day, and make sure I didn't miss any of my medications. I was starting to feel like a lab rat with no hope for freedom. Not only was it all pretty physically draining, but everything I was going through was emotionally challenging more than anything. I felt like something was wrong with me, and the frustration of not being able to control my own body began to get the best of me. There were times that I really wondered if I'd be able to have kids at all.

After a year and a half of methods, tests and visits to numerous different doctors, I was diagnosed with "unexplained infertility" (I didn't realize that "I don't know" needed a diagnosis). So in December I was sent to the Center for Reproduction Medicine at the University of Utah where we would decide what the next and best step would be. The different fertility processes started with manual insemination and went up to in vitro and ranged from $350 to $10,000. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly the most exciting road to have to be taking. Once we decided what step we were going to take, the waiting game started. I couldn't start the process until my next cycle, which was supposed to be in about a week or so...

On Christmas Eve we were still waiting...

Then, on December 25th, 2011, Christmas morning, after being "late" for the first time ever, I took a pregnancy test and Rob and I found out we were finally going to be parents. I never had to start any of the expensive procedures, I wasn't on any medication at the time and I had given up watching the calendar. After over a year and a half, somehow, it all just happened on it's own, and according to my doctors I had a 0-5% chance of getting pregnant on my own. We couldn't be more grateful.

I know there are some of you that can relate to this post and I personally know people who have had similar and greater struggles than I have to get pregnant. I'm not trying to compare my story to anyone else's or say that what I went through was harder than anyone's personal struggle. I just wanted to share my journey of patience, faith and gratitude. Rob and I feel so blessed in so many ways and are so grateful for all the support we've received from friends and family.

We are so excited to be parents and I personally am looking forward to seeing how good of a dad I know Rob is going to be. He's already so cute about it, every morning when he leaves for work, he kisses me goodbye, then leans down and kisses my tummy.

I'm 13 weeks today and hardly showing. Here are some photos of my tummy, the first taken when I was 11 weeks, and the second were taken today. Not much of a difference but everyone has been so anxious to see my "bump' that I thought I'd prove that there really isn't much to show....yet.
11 weeks

13 weeks

I've had 3 ultrasounds and heard the baby's heartbeat 3 separate times now. I'm super anxious to find out what it is, but have to wait til the end of March for that. But don't worry, I'll keep everyone posted. :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Oh wait, it's 2011 already??

So I know I've been a MAJOR slacker on updating the blog lately. I didn't even finish telling everyone about the rest of our New England trip back in October. For some reason, every time I sit down to write, I quickly lose motivation and move onto something else. But one of my resolutions (if you can call it that) is to write more and document more of my life, cause I know all of you are just DYING to know more about my exciting life, right? ;)

Anyway, I know we're already well into February, but I thought the best way to make up for my lack of blogging would be to do a recap of 2010.

I won't be one of those people who goes into full detail about everyt little thing that happened last year, I'm just gonna touch on the highlights and significant moments of the past year.

So here goes...

In January after ringing in the New Year with some of my good friends, Rob and I headed to Reno to see one of his close friends get married. Rob has a lot of really good friends out there and it was fun for him to be able to see everyone, catch up and see his buddy get hitched. I'd have to say, the highlight of the trip for me, was that the church they got married in, shared a parking lot with a Hell's Angels club house....awesome! That's Reno baby.

February marked Rob's parent's 50th wedding anniversary, so as a gift and celebration to them, all his siblings and their families got together in Las Vegas. We did a big Nish family photo shoot, got them a room at the Trump International Towers and had dinner together at the Black Pepper Grill out on Lake Las Vegas. Rob and I even got them a custom made anniversary cake with their wedding photo on it. It was was fun to celebrate and be with the whole family, since he has siblings all over Utah, Vegas and California, it doesn't happen too often.

March isn't ringing any bells for me as being a very significant month last year, so we'll go ahead and skip that one.

April was one of the best months for us as Rob and I lived out two of our big dreams. The first was buying Rob's dream car, a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle. The second was driving historic Route 66. After months of negotiations, we flew out to Mississippi on April 25th to buy the car and drove it alllll the way back home, taking Route 66 as our main course. It was one of the best trips we've been on, so much fun, so full of history and so awesome to be in a classic car driving a classic Route.

At the end of May, Rob took me to Wendover to see one of my favorite bands in concert, Huey Lewis and the News! As one of my dad's favorites, I grew up listening to them and love them to this day. I'd seen them live once before, at the stadium of fire years ago, but this time was even better! We had 3rd row seats and they sounded just as good as ever!

In June Rob and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary by enjoying Sea World in fabulous sunny San Diego. We stayed at a beautiful resort right on the bay. Rob had to go for work so we just decided to make a vacation out of it, hey why not celebrate our anniversary on the company dime?
July was a significant month, after nearly 5 years at Clear Channel, Rob left and started working at the Miller Motorsports Park, a race track out in Tooele, UT. He became the brand manager for their high performance driving schools. He welcomed the change of pace and atmosphere and has been enjoying working with fast cars. In July we also went to Washington to see some of our really good friends, Darin and Jenn and their adorable daughter, Ivy. They own a recreational shop right by the Columbia River so we had a blast kayaking, biking, and paddle boarding. We also watched the boat races that were going on that weekend and I got to take part in a few photo shoots while out there as Darin is also a photographer.

August was Rob's birthday and I also got to go to Bear Lake to do a couple of photo shoots, which was a lot of fun.

In September Rob and I made our second trip to Yellowstone, I celebrated my 27th birthday, and two of my really good friends finally got married. It was a good month. :)

October is when Rob and I went to New England with his parents. We went everywhere starting in Connecticut, going all over Massachusetts, exploring deep into the woods of Vermont and New Hampshire and came back down along the coastline of Maine. It was the perfect time of year as all the fall colors were so rich and vibrant and the weather was perfectly mild. We hit all the historical points including the Mayflower and Plymouth Rock, ate at quaint little cottages in the middle of nowhere, had the freshest lobster around, walked along the sandy beaches of Cape Cod and of course, frequented all the little antique shops along the way. Later in October I also went to Southern California with my best friend, Signe, to visit her dad that lives in Pasadena. I've known her and her family literally my entire life so it was fun to spend some time with them, even if it did rain the WHOLE time.

In November Rob and I both got to go to Las Vegas for work at the same time. He was there for a big car expo and I had a bunch of photo shoots with some long time clients out there. It was fun to be able to be out there at the same time and make our work trips into a little bit of a pleasure trip as well. November is also the month that we added a new addition to our family, little Sugar, a brindle boxer puppy, making our dog count go from 2 to 3. Rob and I had been wanting another boxer for a long time and had recently started looking more seriously. One day as I was coming home from Wal Mart, I pulled out of the parking lot and saw a sign that said "Boxer puppies for sale" they were all brindle and only one was a girl (which is what we wanted). She was way too cute to pass up and the price was just right, so with only a cell phone picture and my word to go on, Rob gave me the ok and I brought her home. :)

After a bunch of traveling it was nice to spend December and the holidays at home with our families. December ended up being the most significant month of the entire year as it was when we found out that I am pregnant! (More on that in an upcoming post)

Ok so this turned out to be a little longer than I anticipated, but I guess it was a pretty eventful year. We feel incredibly blessed every day in so many different ways and we love all of our friends and family and enjoy sharing our lives with you.

Alright, done with the sentimental squishy stuff. I'll try to write more and keep it a little more interesting. Here's to a wonderful 2011! The most life changing year for us yet!